You might be a redneck if…
Youve ever used a weedeater indoors.

Youre so poor I went to your house and asked where the bathroom was and you said, “4th bottle to the left.”

You might be a redneck if…
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You just bought your family their lst Atari game system.

You and your wife celebrate your anniversay at the K-mart cafeteria.

You think the only tools real men need are duck tape and caulk, and you have sucessful repair projects to prove it.

You might be a redneck if…

Its easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

Youve ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sisters honor.

Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job–primer red and primer gray.

The tobacco chewers in your family arent just men.

Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire…on her house

The ASPCA raids your kitchen.

You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You cant get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.

You have the taxidermists number on speed-dial.

You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

You might be a redneck if you lit a match in your bathroom it blew your house off its wheels!

You might be a redneck if…

Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.

Youve been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.

When a sign that says Say No To Crack! reminds you to pull up your jeans.

Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if theyve got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You dated your daddys current wife in high school.

Youre moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection (your insurance man is a redneck too if he pays you for it).

You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Youve ever hit a deer with your car…deliberately.

You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

Your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

Your dad is also your favorite uncle.

Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if…
You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brothers tooth.