You ever spent the night in the bed of your truck rather than paying for a motel room.

None of your zippers have all their teeth either. 49.You are driving the car you were conceived in.

Youve ever used scissors on food.

You might be a redneck if…
You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if…
Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if theyve got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if…
Youve ever worn shorts to a funeral home.

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide trailer).

So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife didnt want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, I may not be the smartest man, but I dont see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.

So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama.

The doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldnt be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count.

1,2,3,4,5…., at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, Buddy, Id sure like to be on your side of the river!

Aight, tell ya whut, Ill shine my flashlight cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light! the redneck yelled back.

The buckeye replied, Haint no way, buddy. I know you think Im a fool! When I get halfway cross, youll turn your flashlight off!

You might be a redneck if…
Your wedding was held in the delivery room.

You might be a redneck if…
You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.

You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a deer at 90 MPH.

You might be a redneck if…
The ASPCA raids your kitchen.