You might be a redneck if…
Your dog cant watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if…
Your huntin dawg cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brothers tooth.

You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

Two men went hunting. One had been hunting all his life, the other man was hunting for the first time. The one man told the other to sit down and not make a sound. So he did. But when the first man got 100 yards away, he heard a scream. I thought I told you to be quiet! he said. I was when the snake bit me, the man said. And I was when the bear attacked me. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg and said Should we eat them or take them with us I screamed.

Q: How does a redneck take a bubblebath? A: He farts in a puddle.

You might be a redneck if…
When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You have all the Dukes of Hazzard episodes on tape.

You can give a summary of all the Dukes of Hazzard episodes.

You think that Roe v. Wade is a decision you make when crossing the creek.

You might be a redneck if…
You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You might be a redneck if…
You can spit without opening your mouth.