You might be a redneck if…
There are more than five McDonalds bags currently on the floorboard of your car.

Youre 42 and still have clowns come to your birthday party.

You think possum is the other white meat.

Your husband spray paints the upholstery of your car to make it look new.

You might be a redneck if…
You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.

You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes channels.

Your idea of a fancy dessert is moon pie ala mode.

You might be a redneck if…
Youve been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

You pick up your girfriend on a bike for the prom.

The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.

A policeman asks for your ID, and you answer, About what?

You might be a redneck if…
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

Two men from Canada were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.

The first man says to the other, If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you.

After about three hours, the second man finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo.

The next morning, the first man finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the first man if he did what he told him to do.

The man answers, Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows.

You might be a redneck if…
Youve ever hitchhiked naked.

You might be a redneck if…
Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.