A Kentucky family took a holiday to New York City.

For an adventure the father took his son to see a skyscraper. They were amazed by everything they saw – especially the elevator at one end of the lobby.

The boy asked,
Whats that there, Paw?

The father responded,
Well son, I reckon I never did see nothing like this in my entire life. I got no darned idea what it is.

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened again and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said,
Go git your Maw.

You might be a redneck if…
The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

You might be a redneck if…
The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.

Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.

Youve ever spray painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.

Your wife has ever said, Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!

Your family tree does not fork.

The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.

You know youre a redneck when the biggest city youve been to is Wal-Mart.

You might be a redneck if…
You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if you are working at a welfare office and are arrested for stealing food stamps.

You might be a redneck if…
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You do all of your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.