You might be a redneck if…
You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. (Is that a bad mental image or what?)

You might be a redneck if you check the mileage on your home.

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks, Where did you get that? The pig says, I won her in a raffle!

You might be a redneck if…
You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.

If you refer to the fourth grade as your senior year, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if…
Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if…
your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Just Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull up your pants!

You might be redneck if your house has more miles on it than your car!

Q: How do you know youve been kidnapped by a redneck?

A: Hes asking 2 million dollars ransom in unmarked million dollar bills.