37. If you get more e-mail than mail.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

48. Give him/her an allowance.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

141. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.

71. You meet the type of people you only thought existed in the movies.

72. You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme temps, and roommates snoring.

73. You dont have to cover your textbooks anymore.

74. You become a juggler with the balance between school, friends, girls, activities, work, parties…

75. You live for chicken finger day at the cafeteria.

76. People that were geeks in high school seem okay now.

77. You begin to realize that college is about the ideal lifestyle, except for those pesky classes.

78. You get good at rationalizing on whether to do homework or not (usually not).

79. Procrastination becomes an art.

80. Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires (for example, see # 12).

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

58. Play blackjack with yourself and scream loudly about your losses when you bust.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

175. Invite the Dean to sleepover.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

73. Skip to the bathroom.

by Robert Chen

You should not attempt any these things. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

31. Switch the label on skim milk with the one on whole milk.

32. Yell to someone walking by, Ill take two hot dogs, and my son will have some peanuts.

33. After getting all your food, sit down. Start arranging your food alphabetically, from left to right. Ask the person next to you whether you should put orange juice under o or j.

34. Bring in a television and VCR. Set it up to play Faces of Death. Eat avidly as you describe each screen to everyone. Embellish. Dont be afraid to speak while your mouth is full.

35. Get a large container and fill it with milk. Pour its contents into the cereal dispenser. Dispense cereal. Complain about how you always get too much milk.

36. Go up to someone you dont know and say, Can I toast your buns?

37. Talk to your food. Tell it to quit complaining or else youll chew more.

38. Find and remove all the green Froot Loops from the cereal dispenser. Then announce to everyone that youre charging a nickel for each green Froot Loop. If they refuse, tell them that theyre not real Froot Loop eaters.

39. Stand where everyone empties their trays. Offer to eat everything unfinished.

40. Pass the pepper and salt, please.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

65. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

178. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate commets, pretend not to hear anything.