21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Dont never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And dont start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Dont overuse exclamation marks!!

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

156. Carve a jack-o-lantern. Complain to your roommate that the jack-o-lantern has been staring at you. The next day, tell your roommate that the jack-o-lantern thinks he/she has been staring at it. Confide in your roommate that you really dont like the jack-o-lantern, but you cant convince it to move out.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

117. Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that you hit the bullseye.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

107. Tell your roommate, Ive got an important message for you. Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you cant remember what the message was. Later on, say, Oh, yeah, I remember! Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

83. Eat a bag of marshmellows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whip cream all over your floor. Say you got sick.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

191. Put bricks in the middle of the room, and explain to him/her that you intend to make a fireplace to save electricity.

A student comes to a young professors office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

I would do anything to pass this exam. She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. I mean… she whispers, …I would do…anything.

He returns her gaze. Anything?

Anything.

His voice softens. Anything??

Absolutely anything.

His voice turns to a whisper. Would you…study?

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

142. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, Dont worry. Its not what you think. If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

138. Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, It had to be done.

5. If you have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles.