These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

71. Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you cant answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you dont trust your ceiling.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

137. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Take notes. Write a paper on it, and circulate it around campus. If your roommate protests, say, The people have a right to know!

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

69. Tell your roommate that someone called and said that it was really important but you cant remember who it was.

1. Quarters are like gold.

2. Be creative in the dining hall.

3. Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc.

4. You will never find so many excuses for a bucket.

5. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.

6. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerrys, Ho-Hos and Oreos

7. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.

8. Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.)

9. Showers become less important.

10. Sleep becomes more important.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

104. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously recover. Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, Oooh, are you dying?

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

152. Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your…Oh, its just you. Take off the hat, sit, and pout.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in just for a couple of weeks.

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

15 minutes looking for assignment.

11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.

23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.

8 minutes in the bathroom.

10 minutes getting a snack.

7 minutes checking the TV Guide.

6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.

10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.