These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

7. Pretend to type in the middle of the air. Complain about how slow the computer has been recently.

41. Devote your math lecture to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask students to sit back and groove.

42. Announce that last years students have almost finished their class projects.

43. Inform your English class that they need to know Fortran and code all their essays. Deliver a lecture on output format statements.

44. Wear a feather boa and ask students to call you Snuggles.

45. Tell your math students that they must do all their work in a base 11 number system. Use a complicated symbol youve named after yourself in place of the number 10 and threaten to fail students who dont use it.

46. Address students as worm.

47. Stop in mid-lecture, frown for a moment, and then ask the class whether your butt looks fat.

48. Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular intervals.

49. Give an opening monologue. Take two minute commercial breaks every ten minutes.

50. Of course, the most fun thing to do on the first day of class is to enjoy yourself, sleep in, and let the students wonder if they found the right room!

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

31. Dye all your underwear lime green.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

166. Create an army of animal crackers. Put them through basic training. Set up little checkpoints around the room. Tell your roommate that the camel spotted him/her in a restricted area and said not to do it again. Ask your roommate to apologize to the camel.

28. If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

96. Buy a McDonalds Happy Meal for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommates closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

161. Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about an hour. Look around nervously for the rest of the day.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.

How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Thats what grad students are for