Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. So, how did you do son? he asked.

Youll never believe it! Billy said. I was responsible for the winning run!

Really? Howd you do that?

I dropped the ball.

Who won the race between two balls of string?
They were tied!

Why are football players never asked for dinner?
Because theyre always dribbling!

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music!

LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

I liked it, but I couldnt understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents, she said.

What do you mean? he asked.

Well, everyone kept yelling, Get the quarter back!

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?

Yes, the golfer responded.

Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?

Yes, I did. How did you know? he asked.

Well, said the policeman very seriously, Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a drivers windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldnt make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded…

I think Ill close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.

What did the bumble bee striker say?
Hive scored!

What is black and white and black and white and black and white?
A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!

What are Brazilian fans called?
Brazil nuts!

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run!

What is a runners favourite subject in school?
Jog-raphy!

What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?
Ince pies!

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.