Q. What was the witchs favorite subject in grade school?

A. Spelling

WHAT DO DALE EARNHARDT AND PINK FLOYD HAVE IN COMMON

THEIR BIGGEST HIT WAS THE WALL

There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were then captured by cannibals. The cannibal king then told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. First step of the trial is to go to the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, I brought ten apples. The king then explains the trial to him. You have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or youll be eaten. The first apple went in…. but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second one arrives and shows the king his ten fruits were berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?

The second one replied, I know, but I couldnt help it. I was doing just great when all of a sudden that third guy showed up with all those watermelons!!!

Found on Falling Dreams blog

Q: why did the blonde cross the road

A: to get a new brain

knock knock
whos there
interupting moo cow
interupting moooooooooo

WHY DID THE MONKEY FALL OUT OF THE TREE?
IT DIED.
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WHY DID THE HOUSE COLLAPSE?
YOUR MOM SAT ON IT.
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DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A JOKE?
SO DO I…
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WHAT TO HEAR A DIRTY JOKE?
THE CLOWN FELL IN THE MUD.
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Why did the student eat his homework?

His teacher said it was a peace of cake.

Knock knock!

Whos there?

I dont know. Go answer the door.

Three celebrities – Shaggy, Justin Timberlake, and Britney Spears – were all in an elvator and they some one farted.

Sshaggy said it wasnt me. Justin says bye bye bye. Britney says opps I did it again

The next day they were all in a hot tub and there were bubbles everywhere. Shaggy says it wasnt me. Justin says bye bye bye. Britney says stronger than yesterday.

Whats rude, black, thick and floats on water?

Crude oil