This pirate had a parrot and all it every said was Polly wanna cracker. One day the parrot was sitting on the pirates shoulder and it kept saying Polly wanna cracker, Polly wanna cracker.

The pirate said, This is your warning. If you dont shut up, Im goin to flush you.

The parrot said, Polly wanna cracker, Polly wannna cracker.

The pirate said, Thats you being flushed. So the pirate flushes the parrot and the parrot sings Floating down the river on a Hershey Bar.

The police are looking for a certain suspect whos sexy, funny, has a nice personality, and cool. Yo ass is safe but where do I hide?

What do you call a teletubbie thats just been robbed?

A tubbi cos its telles been nicked

A black a puertorican and a hispanic are all in a car. Whoss driving?

The cops.

There were three men who worked in this resteraunt. One man was a singer who can only say MI MI MI. The second man can only say GOODI GOOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI. The third man was a French chef and the only words he can say in English are CUT AND CHOP CUT AND CHOP.

One day, a police offcer comes into the restaurant and tells the three men that there has been a murder in this town and asked if any of them committed the murder.

The singer says MI MI MI, then the police officer asked how he did it, to which the second man replied, CUT AND CHOP CUT AND CHOP

Then the shocked officer said You know your going to jail for this, and the other man said GOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI!

Have you heard that a sequel to Brokeback Mountain is already in the works?

Their calling it Butte Crack Creek.

(Gotta love them Brokeback Mountain jokes, huh?)

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frost bite

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because he felt like it!!!

What do u call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

How did the Burger King worker get a girl pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper!