What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

See you next month!

Do you know why Santa Claus does not have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and thats down a chimmey.

If a bird can fly, can a fly bird?

yo mama so stupid tried to enter a stupid contest and they siad no perfessionals can play

Q. What did the pink panther say when he steped on an ant?

A. Dead ant, dead ant… dead ant, dead ant, dead ant…

this is how you keep an idiot busy……..

peat and repeat where on a boat peat fell off who was left?

answer? (repeat)

peat and repeat where on a boat peat fell off who was left?

answer? (repeat)

peat and repeat where on a boat peat fell off who was left?

(your answer will always be repeat and you will always tell a person to repeat)

A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because its a lot of money.

They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, I make bets.

The president replies, Bets? What kind of bets? and she says, For example, Ill bet you $25,000 that your balls are square.

Ha! says the president, Thats a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet.

The old lady says, So, would you like to take my bet?

Sure, says the president, Ill bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!

The little old lady says, OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 9:00 AM to witness?

Sure, says the president.

That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his balls are square and that he will win the bet.

The next morning at 9 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the presidents office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the presidents balls are square. The president agrees with the bet again and the old lady asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this.

The little old lady looks closely at his balls and then asks if she can feel them.

Well, OK says the president, $25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.

Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady, What is wrong with your lawyer?

She replies, Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by noon today Id have The Bank of Americas presidents balls in my hands!

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

– To get to KFC !