The wife says: In not upset
The wife means: Of course Im upset you moron

The wife says: Youre … so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

An unexpected narc at the door.

A big issue over a little tissue.

Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and thats what they did last year.

Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

Device used to catch the Etherbunny.

Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What its too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

To walk up and down a mall. occasionally resting to make a purchase

Log On: Makin the wood stove hotter.

Log Off: Dont add no wood.

Monitor: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.