America OnLine: An organization
set up to give Internetters someone to make ethnic jokes about.

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say…

WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?

Translated:* What did you catch me at?

IM NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.

Translated:* No one will ever see us alive again.

WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.

Translated:* I make the messes; she cleans them up.

A man with the ability to convince his wife that she would look
fat in mink.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: Im going to ask for something expensive.

Thick oatmeal. Rarely found on American tables as
children now have the right to sue their parents.
The name is an amalgamation of the words putrid,
horrid and sludge.

Parasites par-uh-sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist farm-uh-sist: A helper on the farm.

Polarize po-lur-ize: What penguins see with.

A woman who complains that she doesnt have a thing to wear
and that there isnt enough closet space for her clothes.

On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth.

On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!

An appliance that you screw on the bed to keep the house clean.

Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by
the average individual prior to taking a second helping
of a particular food.