Is it true that cannibals dont eat clowns because they taste funny?

If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them?

Isnt Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesnt it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and drycleaners depressed?

Every time I think people cant possibly say or do anything more stupid, I am proved wrong.

Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Daylight savings time – why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word monosyllabic?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

When it rains, why dont sheep shrink?

Stupidity got us into this mess. Why cant it get us out?

The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished.

Money isnt everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Whats another word for thesaurus?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers arent afraid to have a Chapter 11?

I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the drivers side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.

After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?

This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulence or a firetruck.

So whats the speed of dark?

Why dont they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?