You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructors left nostril.

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

18. Thou shalt not giveth any false information when applying for membership to a BBS, for verily it is written that whosoever shall do so will surely be found out and thy welcome on all boards will be thus denied forever and ever.

5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors password, nor his or her real name, computer, software, nor any other thing belonging to him or her.

2. Thou shalt remember thy name and password.

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say oh geez, better get cracking and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

No, you may not borrow my underwear, Mr. Kaczynski.
In my professional opinion, if I were a 50-year-old virgin, Id go freakin nuts, too!
I give up, Ted – whats black & red and charred all over?
Boy BOMB! Girl BOMB! Airport BOMB! Okay, thats enough word association.
Look, Ted – Im no lawyer, but Ive got doubts about your Prairie Oyster defense.
That ink blot looks like the oppressive technocratic regime attempting to enslave our free minds … or maybe a bunny rabbit.
Would you *please* stop making that ticking noise?!
Actually, Ted, Id prefer you *fax* me your manifesto.
Why dont you and I run away together? I know a great little unheated cottage in the middle of nowhere!
You read the entire manifesto? Geez, and they think *Im* crazy!
Now tell me again, Ted – which one is Itchy?
I *must* be insane – to sell name-brand VCRs and televisions at such low prices!!! This Friday only, at Krazy Teds Electronics Outlet!!!
Man, that OJ is a nut, isnt he?
Okay, Marvin Gardens with three houses, thats $875….

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard Between the Unabomber and the Psychiatrist …

Violent fantasies?! Hey, youre the one showing me all these inkblot pictures of explosions.

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]
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Ruminations & Ponderances

A great way for to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much.

(Thanks to Frank Varano)

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, Im so sure you can hear me thinking. Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!