Thirty years ago, when the Air Force needed a large cargo plane, it
put out a list of specifications that took up less than 8 pages.
Lockheed responded with a proposal 3/4 thick, which resulted in
a huge plane named the Hercules. In 1980, when the Air Force needed
a new cargo plane, it issued specifications that took up 2,750 pages.
Lockheeds proposal alone weighed 6,600 pounds. To deliver it, the
company used one of the old Hercules cargo planes.

– John Tierney, in Science 85

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about
it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson.

This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the
reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the brides and grooms families for coming.

To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he
wanted to give everyone a gift from him.So taped to the bottom of everyones
chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told
them to open it.

Inside the manilla envelope was an 8×10 picture of his best man having sex
with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired
a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and watched
peoples reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and
said Screw You, he turned to the bride and said Screw You, and then said Im
out of here.

He got the marriage annulled the next day.

While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out
about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway. His revenge: making
the brides parents pay for a 300 guest wedding and reception, letting
everyone know exactly what did happen, and trashing the brides and best
mans reputations in front of friends, family, grandparents, etc.

This is his world, we just live in it.

According to the Washington Times (7/2/97) when a Virginia High School
student exposed mice to hard rock music 10 hours a day for three weeks,
their ability to navigate a maze they already knew decreased
significantly. A control group, exposed to classical music, actually
improved their maze time. The experiment was cut short because the hard
rock mice ate each other.

When I was in the Air Force, they had a weekly paper. It had a lost and
found section. One day I was reading it and saw this:
Found, one black boys bicycle.

Wonder how they knew?

From the Honolulu Advertiser more than 20 years ago as printed
in Ann Landers, Sunday, April 7, 1996, (slightly rephrased):

Senators William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii
sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church bells
to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. Table Tennis
Team after its tour of Communist China.

The bill failed to pass, cheating the Senate out of passing
the Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill.

One of my teachers always jokes around with us and during class and all the kids talk about his personal life. And one day during class our teacher bent over to pick his pen up and his hiney was all up in my friends face.

And my teachers favorite student said Hey MR.******, why are you wearing a thong, and then everyone started saying things like hes wearing a pink frilly thong! or it has to be XXL! And then Mr.****** said loudly My personal life is none of yalls buisness!Alright? And every one, including me said no! And Mr.****** said Me and my thong aint none of yalls buisness! Clearly Mr****** just admitted that he wears a thong! Everyone busted out laughing, and our teacher was REALLY blushing! LOL!!!

According to police in Dahlonega, Ga., ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was
stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was
trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was
wearing.

Redmond, WA — Microsoft announced today that the official release date
for the new operating system Windows 2000 will be delayed until the
second quarter of 1901.

Mary Poppins has retired from her days as a nanny and currently resides in
Venice Beach, CA, where she predicts cases of bad breath for her clients.
Her sign outside her office reads: Super California Mystic, Expert:
Halitotsis

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com