Recently I answered the phone and it was a sales person from a long
distance company. They asked for my late father by name.

Im sorry, I answered, but hes dead.

Their reply, May I leave a number in case the situation changes?

A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled — leaving
the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
Fifteen dollars.

A driver, who crashed into the side of a 3000 ton wheat train
and was dragged in his car more than a kilometre before being slammed
into a pylon at the edge of a cliff, fell to his death as he walked
for help.

The Queensland, Australia man, 63, and his female companion, 64, were
driving along the Newell Highway near Moree, in Northwestern New
South Wales, on Wednesday night, police said.

Their car crashed into the side of a fully laden, 600 metre long
train at a level crossing. (I guess that would be harder to miss
than the side of a barn!) The vehicle became wedged between the
second last and last carriages and was dragged sideways beside the
track as the train continued towards Moree, a police spokeswoman
said.

After being carried more than a kilometre and a half they approached
an unfenced bridge with a 10 metre drop, the spokeswoman said.
Moments before they reached the precipice, the car was struck by a
pylon, dislodged from the train and spun several times. When it came
to rest, the pair managed to free themselves from the wreck (I wonder
if it was a Volvo?) with minor bruising and the man set off along the
railway line for help. But he slipped on the bridge and fell to his
death, the spokeswoman said.

The woman was eventually able to raise the alarm and was recovering
in Moree hospital with chest injuries.

Annals of Television: Two men whose fishing boat sank near Hawaii on Dec.
9 were rescued from a raft this week. However, Premiere Morning Sickness
reports, after hearing that Tom Arnold would be starring in another
sitcom, Richard Enslow and David Summers quickly paddled back out to sea.

In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel Kolta, 27, and
Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the
game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.

Atlanta Coca-Cola is fixing an embarrassing typo in the word disk
in copyright information on about 2 million 12-packs of the drink.

In the misprint, the s is replaced by a c. Normally, the small type
under the copyright information states that the red disk icon and contour
bottle are trademarks of the Coca-Cola Co.

In August, 12 men were arrested near Szczecin in northern Poland as they
were digging up a road because they had heard a rumor that it was built
with a large stockpile of police-confiscated hashish. The hashish had been
sold to a chemical plant to be incinerated into ash for road
construction.

Microsoft Corp today announced that they would purchase the source the
PenPoint operating system for the value of one of Bill Gates eye-lashes
(est. value $1.3 million). Gates was quoted as saying we are only doing
what the consumer has asked us to do: ship huge, bloated, bug-ridden
programs while using every trick in the book to kill our competitors. As an
example of our progress, consider Windows CE which paints the screen slower
on a 75 MHz MIPS RISC processor than the 16 MHz 68000 in the Palm Pilot,
while sucking the batteries dry in a tenth of the time.

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three-year-old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, Mommy, you are getting fat!
I replied, Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.
I know, she replied, but whats growing in your butt?