In the 80s, a [local] radio station had a couple of DJs who claimed
the stealth fighter had landed at the Mt. Joy airport in Mt. Joy,
Iowa. This is used mainly by the weekend warriors, and once a year
its used for an air show. The authorities were notified after an
estimated 10,000 people came to the airport. They asked the
people why they were out there, and they were given the story about
the stealth fighter.

The authorities then called the FBI, who talked to the FAA, who
called the FBI back. The two DJs got yanked off the air and
suspended for two weeks — but not before some people at the
airport, armed with cell phones, called into the station, got put on
the air, and said that they couldnt see the thing. The DJs replied
that it was proof the technology worked.

To top it all off: the DJs said the only way that you could see
the plane was to move your head back and fourth — like a chicken
when it walks — and try to catch a glimpse out of the corner of
your eye. They stated that if you looked right at it, you would
never see it. This was believed and a majority of the people were
doing just this when the police arrived!

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a
traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge
rose from the bench. Madam, I have
waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this
court, he smiled with
delight. Now sit down at that table and write I will not
pass through a red light five hundred times.

You Ought to be in Pictures: More than 50 people responded to an
invitation to a casting call for a Robert DeNiro movie being shot in
Boston. The only problem was, the invitations were sent by police. To
people with outstanding arrest warrants. One woman complained she
took a day off from work to meet DeNiro. She was led away in
handcuffs instead. Its so nice to scam people who are scammers,
one detective said. The casting call, sent to 3,800 fugitives,
offered more than $200 for two hours of work as extras, plus the
chance of becoming famous. (UPI)

On February 3, 1990, a Renton (Seattle area) man tried to commit a
robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by his
lack of a record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid
choice:

The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gunshop;
The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial
fraction of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed
handguns in public places;
To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked King County
Police patrol car parked at the front door;
An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having
coffee before reporting to duty.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and
fired a few wild shots.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the
gene pool.

Several other customers also drew their guns, but didnt fire. No one
else was hurt.

The Democratic National Committee finally released thousands of pages of
financial disclosure information. Says Vince Vieceli, Unfortunately,
they released them from a third-floor balcony in New York during the
parade for the Yankees.

According to a new survey 60% of adults say theyre aware of someone whos
gone to work under the influence of drugs. Apparently the other 40% have
never heard of the Dallas Cowboys.

– Conan OBrien