Most people dont know that back in 1912, Hellmanns mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery were disconsolate at the loss.

Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th, and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo….

ABCs overnight news show, World News Now, has a recurring segment called
World News Then, where they air pieces of ABC News broadcasts as they
covered various important events of the past. Last April 1st,
they decided that instead of running a piece from a few decades ago, it
would be more interesting to go back a few millennia. One of the stories
they rebroadcast was the following report from 2400 BC:

Egypts emerging papyrus technology continues to alarm parents and law
enforcement. A new bill introduced today would let the government
regulate material found on papyrus. Legislators said paperspace, as it
is known to so-called writers, is becoming a haven for monotheists,
con artists and worse hoping to prey on the young and gullible. A little
bit later in this broadcast we will have some tips on how to shield your
children from offensive and dangerous material found on the dangerous
papyrus.

Paul Carthy, 25, pleaded guilty in Exeter, England, in September to theft
subsequent to his original charge of shoplifting from a liquor store. In
the second theft, he had stolen the magnetic letters off the name board
that was held up to his face when his mug shot was taken.

U.S. Lawmaker Says He Is Worried About E-Mail Pregnancy

Citing the case of a woman who claims she got pregnant from e-mail,
an Ohio Democrat called Wednesday for a chastity chip for the
Internet. Rep. James Traficant, known for his flamboyant rhetoric,
gave a brief floor speech about a woman named Frances who claimed to
have gotten pregnant through an e-mail exchange with a paramour 1,500
miles away. Thats right — pregnant, he proclaimed, warning of the
dangers of immaculate reception. He called on Congress to go beyond
v-chips that would protect kids from sexual content on the
Internet, saying, Its time for Congress to act. The computers do not
need a v-chip. The Internet needs a chastity chip.

Last week the DJ on radio station WZZO in Allentown, PA was discussing David
Hasselhoff, since there was some news item about him. He went on to say that
he liked the show Knight Rider much better than Baywatch.
He said that Knight Rider was more realistic, since he could more easily
believe that there was a talking car than that Pamela Anderson could form
coherent sentences on her own.

Modern Travel: To promote airline safety, a proposed FAA rule would
require that every suitcase checked on a US flight be on the same
plane as its owner. That means that even though you want to fly to
Orlando at 9am, you may end up on the 10pm plane to Boise. (Jerry
Perisho)

Major airlines oppose the plan. They are even against a less stringent
rule that would require luggage and owners to be in the same country.

John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S.
Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930s. He was
an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals,
and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces
in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books on criminal
justice. He retired from military service in the late 1950s at the
rank of full colonel.

Returning to Fresno, California, he began teaching criminology at what
was then Fresno State College. (Later to become the California State
University, Fresno.) His work was well respected, but after about ten
years of service, he was called to see the president of the college.

He was informed that he could no longer teach with just a bachelors
degree. Times were changing, he was told, and the school demanded
that faculty members hold a graduate degree. Merely having 20 years
of distinguished experience was no longer considered sufficient
qualification to teach. All new faculty were being required to hold
a doctorate, it was explained, and the school was actually doing him a
favor by letting him keep his job by getting only a masters degree.

So John enrolled in a summer program at an out of state college.
Three months of intensive seminars and then nine months of home study
would get him his MA.

On the first day of class, the instructor was taking roll. He stopped
when he read Johns name. Are you related to the John Kallam who
wrote the textbook well be using? he asked.

I am the John Kallam who wrote the textbook youre using, came the
dry response.

A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for
driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four
frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be
counted. The judge ruled that passengers must be alive to
qualify.