Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo mama so poor that when I saw her kicking a can, I asked her what she was doing and she said, Moving.

Yo mama so poor I walked into her house, asked her to use the toilet and she handed me 2 large sticks.

I asked what are theyre for and she says use one to hold up the ceiling, and the other one is to fight of the roaches .

Yo mama is so fat…



she walked in front of the tv and i missed a two hour movie





every time she turns around its her birthday





the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs





i swerved around her and ran out of fuel





people run around her for marathon practise





i roll over 3 times and im still on the bitch





the last time she saw 90210 was on the scales





when she got on the scales it said one at a time please





when she tried again it said no live stock please





she gets a group discount at weight watchers





when she tried sunbaking, greenies started jumping around her yelling save the whale, save the whale





shes got more rolls than a bakery





her belt size is equator





she has her own gravity pull





when a bulldozer ran in to her she said who threw that pebble?





YO MAMAS so stupid…





she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death





it takes her 3 mins to cook 2 min noodles





YO MAMAS so poor…





when she was kickin a can down the street and i asked what ya doin? she said movin house





she hangs the toilet paper out to dry





when i was at her place i asked wheres the toilet? she said pick a corner





when i was at her place i asked whats for dinner? she stuck her foot on the table and said corn and jam





YO MAMAS so old…





when she reads the bible she reminices.

Yo mama is so fat that when you went on vacation to Sea World, the security guards arrested you for trying to steal Shamu.

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

I saw your mama at the freak show petting the worlds largest turtle.