Old and New Jokes

A man holding a parrot came running and screaming into a veterinarians office. The vet immediately brought him into an examining room and carefully examined the parrot, and then said to the man, Im sorry, but this bird is dead.The man began to cry, No! No! That cant be true! I want another opinion.The vet thought a second, then said, Okay, and left for the back office. He returned with a black Labrador retriever. The black Lab sniffed the bird and finally gave a low woof sound and looked up at the vet. The vet said to the man, The dog thinks that the bird is dead too.The man said, I dont believe it! I want another opinion!The vet then left with the black Lab and came back with a cat. He placed the cat on the examination table and the cat walked over to the bird and sniffed and nudged the bird again and again. Finally the cat shrugged its shoulders and walked away from the bird.The vet said, The cat thinks its dead too.The man sighed and said, I guess youre right. How much do I owe you?The vet said, That will be $2,000 please.The horrified man said, Two thousand bucks! Just to tell me my bird is dead? Thats ridiculous! Thats outrageous!The vet then said, Well, I was going to charge you just fifty bucks, but then I had to include the Lab fees and the Cat scan!