The Chelsea team are having a meeting on the eve of a Newcastle game.
Vialli says, Look lads, I know they are absolute shite and we dont want
to play them, but we have to or we face the wrath of the FA.

Gustavo Poyet peps up, Ive got an idea… why dont you lot all go down
to the pub, and let me play them on my own? After all, Ive played in most
of the positions this season, and remember, Newcastle are totally
pish…

Brilliant Idea, Gus! says Vialli. Lets do that!

On the day of the game, the blues are all in the pub, and Vialli decides to
check the score. He gets the TV control and keys up teletext.

NEWCASTLE 0

CHELSEA 1 (Poyet, 10)

The lads all cheer, and get the drinks in. At ten to five, after some
serious drinking, he checks the text again.

NEWCASTLE 1 (Shearer, 90)

CHELSEA 1 (Poyet, 10)

Oh Red Card! cries Vialli. What the hell went wrong?!

They all leave the bar and jump into taxis to get back to the ground. They
rush in to find Poyet sitting in the dressing room with his head in his
hands.

Well, Gus, what the hell happened? says Vialli.

Gus shakes his head. It was all under control, he says. Everything was
great. Then that bastard referee sent me off in the 12th minute…