Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but hell change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: 1) mole 2) unionized. As he so eloquently put it, If he starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking.

Make it myself? But Im a physical organic chemist!

Definition: (Fe)male: Male with iron added, for greater strength, ductility, and magnetisim.

Acid is base.

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: Theyre cheaper than day rates.

Scale keeps forming inside the kettle, complained Tom, recalcitrantly.