Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
A: Methylated Spirits!

Q: How many atoms in a guacamole?
A:Avocados number.

Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole?
A: Avogadros.

Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.

These were printed on bumper stickers and given out at an American Chemical Society meeting 10 or 12 years ago: It takes alkynes to make a world.

Take plenty of the dark purple solution, Tom offered, managnimously.

This old pipe is rusty, said Tom, ironically.