Access Denied

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an Access Denied message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.

Tech Support: OK, lets try once more, but use lower case letters.

Customer: Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard.

No Carrier

Customer: Hello? Im trying to dial in. I installed the software okay, and it dialed fine. I could hear that. Then I could hear the two computers connecting. But then the sound all stopped, so I picked up the phone to see if they were still connected, and I got the message, No Carrier, on my screen. Whats wrong?