Lorena Bobbit virus:
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

Tim Allen virus:
Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact

Woody Allen virus:
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Saddam Hussein virus:
Wont let you into any of your programs

Tonya Harding virus:
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

George Michael virus:
Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup

Joey Buttafuoco virus:
Only attacks minor files. Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card