Greeting cards are getting expensive, so why not design your very own Hallmark Moment with some these sayings:

Ive always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.

After having met you, Ive changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell till I met you.

Looking back over the years that weve been together, I cant help but wonder:

What the heck was I thinking?

If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope its your sister.

As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts youve given me.

Like the need for therapy…

Thanks for being a part of my life! I never new what evil was before this!

Money is tight, times are hard, heres your @#$/& Christmas card!!!

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back. Youll probably need it again.

Sorry things didnt work out, but I cant handle guys with breasts that are bigger than mine.

When we were together, you always said youd die for me.

Now that weve broken up, I think its time you kept your promise.

The holidays are a great time to be with family. Of course, your family wont be with you, since Im taking the kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!