Old and New Jokes

Young
Justin has a cursing problem, and his father’s
getting tired of it.
He decides to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink
says, “Negative reinforcement. Since Christmas
is coming up, ask Justin what he wants from Santa.
If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave
a pile of dog poop in place of each gift he requests.”
Two days before Christmas, Justin’s father
asks him what he wants for Christmas. “I want
a damn teddy bear lying beside me when I wake up.
When I go downstairs, I want to see a damn train going
around the damn tree. And when I go outside, I want
to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.”
On Christmas morning, Justin wakes up and rolls into
a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walks downstairs
and sees another pile under the tree. He walks outside,
looks at a huge pile of dog poo by the garage, and
walks inside. His dad smiles and asks, “What
did Santa bring you this year?”
Justin replies, “I think I got a goddamn dog,
but I can’t find the son of a bitch!”