Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as
cybersex. Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet
phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as youll see below, one of the two
cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesnt seem to
quite get the point of cybersex. Then again, maybe he does…

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work
out every day, Im toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you
look like?

Wellhung: Im 63 and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of
blue sweat pants I just bought from WalMart. Im also wearing a T-shirt with a
few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner… it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetheart: Were in my bedroom. Theres soft music playing on the stereo and
candles on my dresser and night table. Im looking up into your eyes, smiling.
My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge,
swelling bulge.

Wellhung: Im gulping, Im beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: Im pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now Im unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: Im moaning softly.

Wellhung: Im taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: Im throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my
warm skin. Im rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in
your blouse. Im sorry.

Wellhung: Ill pay for it.

Sweetheart: Dont worry about it. Im wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts
are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: Im fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think its stuck. Do you
have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. Im reaching back undoing the
clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are
erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? Im picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: Im arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all
over me.

Wellhung: Im dropping the bra. Now Im licking your, you know, breasts. Theyre

Sweetheart: Im running my fingers through your hair. Now Im nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: Im so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: Im wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: Im taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. Im pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: Im screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: Im pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: Im pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out
nibbling on you… umm… wait a minute.

Sweetheart: Whats the matter?

Wellhung: Ive got a pubic hair caught in my throat. Im choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: Im having a coughing fit. Im turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: Im running to the kitchen, choking wildly. Im fumbling through the
cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: Im drinking a cup of water. There, thats better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: Im washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: Im on the bed aching for you.

Wellhung: Im drying the cup. Now Im putting it back in the cabinet. And now
Im walking back to the bedroom. Wait, its dark, Im lost. Wheres the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: Im tuggin off your pants. Im moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately – our naked bodies
pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why dont you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I cant see very well without them. I place the glasses on the
night table.

Sweetheart: Im bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. Im fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward
the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and its dark. Im feeling around for the toilet.
I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: Im waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: Im done going. Im feeling around for the flush handle, but I cant
find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: Whats the matter now?

Wellhung: Ive realized that Ive peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again.
Im walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now Im going to put my… you know… thing… in your… you
know… womans thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: Im touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck.
Umm, Im having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: Im moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I cant stand it another
second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: Im flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: Im limp. I cant sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: Im standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: Im shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. Im
going to get my glasses and see whats wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. Im getting dressed. Im putting on my underwear.
Now Im putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now Im squinting, trying to find the night table. Im
feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and
your candles.

Sweetheart: Im buttoning my blouse. Now Im putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: Ive found my glasses. Im putting them on. My God! One of our candles
fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! Im pointing at it, a shocked look
on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. Im logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: (logged off)

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