My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she wont drink from my glass!

My sex life is terrible. My wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. Actually she did put the mirror over our bed, too. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.

Im a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.