Warning: Theres a new virus on the loose thats worse than anything Ive seen before!

It gets in through the power line, riding on the powerline 60 Hz subcarrier.

It works by changing the serial port pinouts, and by reversing the direction ones disks spin.

Over 300,000 systems have been hit by it here in Murphy, West Dakota alone! And thats just in the last 12 minutes.

It attacks DOS, Win95, Unix, TOPS-20, Apple-II, VMS, MVS, Multics, Mac, RSX-11, ITS, TRS-80, VHS, and BetaMax systems.

To prevent the spread of the worm:

Dont use the powerline.
Dont use batteries either, since there are rumors that this virus has invaded most major battery plants and is infecting the positive poles of the batteries. (You might try hooking up just the negative pole.)
Dont upload or download files.
Dont store files on floppy disks or hard disks.
Dont read messages. Not even this one!
Dont use serial ports, modems, or phone lines.
Dont use keyboards, screens, or printers.
Dont use switches, CPUs, memories, microprocessors, or mainframes.
Dont use electric lights, electric or gas heat or airconditioning, running water, writing, fire, clothing or the wheel.

Im sure if we are all careful to follow these 9 easy steps, this virus can be eradicated, and the precious electronic fluids of our computers can be kept pure.