Old and New Jokes

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?



Border Collie: Just one. Then Ill replace any wiring thats not up to code.

Rottweiler: Make me!

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I cant reach that stupid lamp!

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while hes busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: Ill just pop it in while Im bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isnt moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Mastiff: Screw it yourself! Im not afraid of the dark…

Doberman: While its out, Ill just take a nap on the couch.

Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?

Australian Shepherd: First, Ill put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…



Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs — people change light bulbs.

I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?



Poodle: Ill just blow in the Border Collies ear and hell do it.

By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.



Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, weve got our whole lives ahead of us,

and youre inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?