One day a farmer caught a traveling salesman making love to his youngest daughter. Yelling You son of a bitch! he shot the amorous salesman in thegroin with a .12-gauge shotgun.

The screaming salesman quickly took off for town to find a doctor. He found one, but the physician took one look at the mans perforated pecker and told him that nothing could be done for him.

Oh, please do something, begged the salesman. Im a rich man and can payyou anything.

Sorry, son, said the doctor. Theres nothing I can do. However, theres a man across the street who might be able to help.

Oh? Is he a specialist? asked the salesman.

No, said the doctor, hes a piccolo player. Hell teach you how to hold it without pissing in your face.