Old and New Jokes

-You lose arguments with inanimate objects.



-Your job is interfering with your drinking.



-Youre doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.



-Career wont progress beyond the court.



-You sincerely believe alcohol to be to elusive 5th food group.



-Two hands and just one mouth – becoming a huge problem.



-You can focus better with one eye closed.



-The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.



-You fall off the floor…



-Hey, five beers has just as many calories as a burger! Screw dinner!



– At AA meetings you begin with: Hi, my name is …uh ….



-Your idea of cutting back is less salt.



– You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. – hmm



– Roseanne looks good.



– That damn pink elephant followed you home again.