IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER – –

Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ERs great,

But. . . there are problems that cant wait!

Now Bentons fine, and Carter too,

But Ross and Susan just wont do!

Now who do you think that we should hire,

Since both of them today Ill fire?

Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see. . .

Kerry: Thats great Mark! I knew you would agree. . .

Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt. . .

But the paramedics just pulled up.

Mark: Ok, Im here. What have you got?

Shep: This little boy has just been shot!

His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.

We did all we could to stop the leak.

Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip. . .

Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip?

Shep: The kids mom was getting in my hair,

So I shoved her–lightly–down some stairs.

Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three!

Doug and Susan! Come with me!

Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh dont you see?

Weve got some more; one, two, and three.

Kerry: Youve got three more? How can this be?

Explain it, tell it all to me!

Riley: Well, Shep was driving. Really fast.

A light turned red. Shep hit the gas.

We hit a car, it hit two more.

Soon the total rose by four.

Another bang! Another crash!

But we couldnt stay, we had to dash!

We grabbed these three but I am sure,

The injured totaled sixty score!

Carter: These people really are a mess!

Their injuries I cannot guess!

It makes me sick, my knees are weak,

A toilet I must soon go seek. . .

Benton: Its ok Carter! Stay on your toes!

It doesnt get worse than this you know!

To Trauma four lets take these three.

You can do it, come with me!

Green: Ok, lets get this boy on the table.

To save his life if we are able!

Haleh: Dr. Green! This boy is cyanotic!

I cant find a pulse. . . oh, wait Ive got it!

But it is weak! Oh, woe is us!

Doug: Give him saline! IV push!

CBC, chem 7, stat!

We will save him, bet on that!

Oh no, hes showing poor perfusion!

Lydia, start a blood transfusion!

Lydia: But Dr. Ross, I hate to say.

The blood bank didnt come today!

Were out of blood, I cant believe!

Doug: Here, use mine! (rolls up his sleeve)

Kerry: We need some help! Theres been a crash!

Someones heart stopped with a flash!

But Dr. Benton saved the day,

And Carters going to be ok.

Susan: What can I do, where can I go?

Im not incompetent you know!

I deserve a chance and with good reason,

I only killed one guy last season!

Mark: Its fine! Its done, the kids ok.

Were sending him up on his way.

To surgery hes off to go,

They must sew up that bullet hole.

But Dr. Ross, hes out of sorts. . .

We had to take a dozen quarts.

Benton: Ok, were done. I did it all.

I used a double breasted suture saw.

I closed them up, I fixed their ills.

I patched their wounds, I gave them pills.

I have their livers in this sack.

I did it all, behind my back.

I need more patients, give me more!

I just cured three, now give me four!

Carter: What happened? Did I miss it all?

I saw some blood. I took a fall.

But it doesnt matter, we saved the day!

Carol: Get ready! Theres more on the way!