Old and New Jokes

The wealthy wife of a very successful Jewish businessman went to the portrait artist for her first sitting. The portrait, a gift for her husband. She explained to the artist what she wanted: You should paint me like I am. These little wrinkles, you put them on your canvas. The lines under my eyes, the flab on my arms, the turn in my nose, and the mole on my cheek, they all stay….BUT on my hands you put lots of rings with big diamonds and emeralds and bright jewels. Around my neck you put chains of gold and diamonds. Do you understand?



The artist looked at her in earnest and asked why she should want such detail of real life in her physical appearance, but adorn herself with the phony jewelry.



She replied: When I die my husband will re-marry. The new wife, she should go crazy looking for the jewels.