Old and New Jokes

I finished the Oreos.Not to imply anything, but I dont think the kid weighs 40 pounds.Yknow, looking at her, youd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby..!!I sure hope your thighs arent gonna stay that flabby forever!Well, couldnt they induce labor ? The 25th is the Super Bowl.Darned if you aint about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, thats gotta hurt.Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!Im jealous! Why cant men experience the joy of childbirth?Are your ankles supposed to look like that?Get your *own* ice cream.Geez, youre awfully puffy looking today.Got milk ?Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water…Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your ass!You dont have the guts to pull that trigger…