Five tough questions

The five questions most feared by men are:1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?The proper answer to this, of course, is:Im sorry if Ive been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Perhaps the worst response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!
Question # 2: Do you love me?The proper response is: YES! or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, Yes, dear. Inappropriate responses include:a. Oh Yeah, loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?The correct answer is an emphatic: Of course not!Among the incorrect answers are:a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldnt call you fat, but youre not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. Ive seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think shes prettier than me?Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: Of course not!Incorrect

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