Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, Well, Forrest, its certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and weve been administering an entrance exam for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.

Forrest responds, It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams Shore hope the test aint too hard;life was a big enough test as it was.

Saint Peter goes on, Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have has only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter T? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is Gods first name?

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. Forrest returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

Saint Peter waves him up and asks, Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.

Forrest says, Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter T? Shucks, that ones easy; thatd be Today and Tomorrow.

The saints eyes opened wide and he exclaims, Forrest! Thats not what I was thinking, but…you do have a point though, and I guess I didnt specify, so I give you credit for that answer. How about the next one? says Saint Peter. How many seconds in a year?

Now that ones harder, says Forrest. But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.

Astounded, Saint Peter says, Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?

Forrest says, Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second…

Hold it, interrupts Saint Peter. I see where youre going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasnt quite what I had in mind. Ill give you credit for that one too.

Lets go on with the next and final question, says Saint Peter. Can you tell me Gods first name?

Forrest says, Well, shore, I know Gods first name. Everybody knows it. Its Howard.

Howard?! asks Saint Peter. What makes you think its Howard?!

Forrest answers, Its in the prayer.

The prayer? asks Saint Peter, Which prayer?

You know, The Lords Prayer, responds Forrest:

Our Father, which art in Heaven, Howard be thy name…

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