1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say,

oh geez, better get cracking, and do some gibberish work. Turn it in

a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming, Andre, Andre, Ive got the

secret documents!!

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long

answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative.

Use the intregral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructors left

nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your

answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, Im SOOO

sure you can hear me thinking. Then start talking about what a jerk the

instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say

to the instructor, I dont understand ANY of this. Ive been to every

lecture all semester long! Whats the deal? And who the hell are you?

Wheres the regular guy?

8. Bring a Game Boy and play it with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every

question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds

that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of

relief. Go to the instructor, say, Theyve found me, I have to leave

the country, and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very

small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out, Merry Christmas.

If youre really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost

the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head,

and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turets Syndrome during the exam. Be as

vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you dont know one, make one up!

For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she/he is not looking.

Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping

your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them

stay, and be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of

the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another

seat, and continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out,

start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it

is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB, BABE,

etc..).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers

completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently,

scream out Fuck this! and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor

that whether or not everyones done, they are all leaving after one hour

to go drink).

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during

the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell

him/her in a very derogatory tone, the light bulb that goes on above my

head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a

white mask and start yelling, Im here, the phantom of the opera until

they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the

class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you

belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your

right to take the exam.

The list continues below

Click Here!

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say, you

dont really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives

is on!!!

32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the

instructors requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave

one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River

Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could

possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If

it is a written exam, relate everything you your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knights outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam.

Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious…like

history notes for a calculus exam…otherwise youre not just failing,

youre getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the

comment, Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question,

and ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do

before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray

to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. sent to you

every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you–desks, chairs,

anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90

degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked

to stop, say, it helps me think. Bring a copy of the Student Handbook

with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical

instruments during finals. Dont forget to us the phrase, Told you so.

50. Answer the exam with the Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks.