Bette Midler told this joke on Letterman one recent Friday night…

An old guy goes to the doctor complaining that he has silent gas emissions. He goes on to explain that while playing bridge that morning he had 6 silent gas emissions. At lunch he had four, and while he was sitting there talking to the doctor he had another four.

Can you help me, Doc?, he pleads.

The doctor replies, Yes, and the first thing were going to do is check your hearing.