You order a Double Whopper and he says, Hey, my name aint Rockefeller, honey.

Youve never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.

He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.

Your dinner reservations are under Loser, party of 2

Hes especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.

He calls to tell you hell pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over.

Hes been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer, twice.