Old and New Jokes

A prominent biogeneticist is conducting advanced research on the similarities between primates and humans. After a decade of preparation, he is now ready for his most daring experiment to date: the mating of a human with a gorilla.
Having spent years searching for the proper gorilla, he finally selects a supple simian from the San Diego Zoo. Finding the human partner, however, will be more difficult. First, he designs an extensive and detailed forty-page questionnaire. Next, he places a classified ad in the New York Review of Books: Wanted: Single White male, between 25 and 27 years of age, with a Masters degree, non-smoker, who loves Mozart, animals and long walks on the beach, to impregnate a female gorilla. Stipend: $300.
To his delight, the researcher receives over two hundred letters, and promptly sends a copy of the questionnaire to each of the respondents. Over 90 percent of the questionnaires are returned, but only one applicant fulfills all the requirements.
An interview is arranged, and the applicant arrives to meet with the researcher. They talk for three hours, and the researcher finally says, Im thrilled to have found you. Youre exactly the man Ive been looking for. Are you free to begin on Monday?
Just a minute, says the young man. Youve asked me a lot of questions, but before we go any further, I have a few requirements of my own. First, therell be no kissing on the lips. Second, any offspring from this union must be raised in my own faith. And, finally, could you give me a couple of weeks to scrape up the three hundred bucks?