Great Jewish Movies never made!

Oy of the Beholder – Singles kvetch about their awful dates.

Girls, Interrupted – Womens section of Shul shusshed during davening (prayers).

The Seder House Rules – Zaydie lays down the law on Pesach.

Angelas Kashas – Woman reveals secret recipes.

The Six Cents – Three Jews each put in their two-cents worth.

Snow Falling on Seders – Unexpected storm disrupts Passover.

Supernova – Space scientists discover powerful strain of lox.

Dreydel Will Rock – Chanukah toy comes alive.

Sleepy Hallah – On Friday night, father fills up on bread, dozes off.

Stuart Ladle – Mouse makes chicken soup for Shabbos.

The Whole Nine Yids – Struggling shul waits for tenth.

The Green Mohel – Young man performs first circumcision

Mun on the Moon – Astronauts discover hamantaschen filling, not green cheese, on lunar surface.

Gonif with the Wind – A thief tries to acquire ownership of Tara through a forged deed.

The Putzman Rings Twice – A mohel murder mystery

Schnorer Rae – A freeloader tries to get in on the union movement

Balaboosta Cockburn – John Waynes wife memorizes Grossinger cookbook

The Good, the Chabbad, and the Ugly – A kosher noodle western

Moby Dreck – Captain Ahab harpoons the wrong end of the whale

The Cincinnati Yid – Steve McQueen uses some of his poker winnings to start a reform congregation

Litvak Big Man – Dustin Hoffman learns that his parents are an American Indian and a Lithuanian immigrant

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kibbitzer – Paul Newman and Robert Redford do some standup shtick while they rob their victims.

Bridge over the River Kvetch – The extras complain that whistling the theme song dries out their mouth and hurts their lips

The Creature from the Black Latke – An overdone potato pancake turns into a monster

Mamza Poppins – A talented nanny has questions about her birth legitimacy

The Matzo Candidate – Frank Sinatra is brainwashed into thinking its always Passover

Mister Schnapps Goes to Washington – Jimmy Stewart thinks hes still filming Harvey

Driedls of the Lost Ark – Harrison Ford plays Chanukah games

Aleph Doesnt Live Here Anymore – Neither the waitress nor the old Hebrew school can be found

Borscht-time for Bonzo – Ronald Regan tries to train an Ashkenazy monkey

Singing in the Chrain – Gene Kelly gets horseradish on his umbrella

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