10
Jul

Greeting cards that youll never see Hallmark sell

  • Looking back over the years that weve been together, I cant help but wonder: What the fuck was I thinking?

  • Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.

  • How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?

  • Ive always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, Ive changed my mind.

  • I must admit, you brought religion in my life. I never believed in Hell till I met you.

  • As the days go by, everyday I think of how lucky I am that youre not here to ruin it for me.

  • If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope its your sister.

  • Thanks for being part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before.

  • As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts youve given me. Like the need for therapy …

  • Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take the knife out of my back. Youll probably need it again.

  • Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.

  • Happy Birthday!You look great for your age … Almost lifelike!

  • When we were together you always said youd die for me. Now that weve broken up, I think its time you kept your promise.

  • I knew that day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So heres his leash, water bowl and chew toys.

  • We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits.

  • Im so miserable without you, its like youre here.

  • Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?

  • You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket….Id miss you heaps and think of you often.

  • Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!! (Available only in Kentucky!)

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