10
Jul
- Looking back over the years that weve been together, I cant help but wonder: What the fuck was I thinking?
- Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.
- How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?
- Ive always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, Ive changed my mind.
- I must admit, you brought religion in my life. I never believed in Hell till I met you.
- As the days go by, everyday I think of how lucky I am that youre not here to ruin it for me.
- If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope its your sister.
- Thanks for being part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before.
- As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts youve given me. Like the need for therapy …
- Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take the knife out of my back. Youll probably need it again.
- Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.
- Happy Birthday!You look great for your age … Almost lifelike!
- When we were together you always said youd die for me. Now that weve broken up, I think its time you kept your promise.
- I knew that day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So heres his leash, water bowl and chew toys.
- We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits.
- Im so miserable without you, its like youre here.
- Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?
- You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket….Id miss you heaps and think of you often.
- Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!! (Available only in Kentucky!)