30
Mar

Hamster Science

Consider the following facts about hamsters:

Theyre found mostly in peoples houses.
They come out mainly at night.
They run around like little wind-up toys.
They have two speeds: stop and fast.
They naturally avoid people.
If you try to grab them they dive into the nearest tiny hole.
Once theyve hidden they can be extremely difficult to find.
They seem to like living in what basically amounts to a pile of trash.
They eat little bits of food, crumbs, etc.
They tend to be brown.
They reproduce very rapidly.
Fear of them (and similar creatures) is not terribly uncommon.

Conclusion: hamsters are large cockroaches.

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