1.Puppies wont ask you if its the best puppy youve ever had. 2.A puppy always comes to you when you call it. 3.If you show affection for a puppy, it returns it with no strings attached. 4.All you need to do for a puppy to love you forever is feed it and not beat it with heavy blunt objects. 5.Puppies love you unconditionally. 6.Its OK if your PUPPY gets fleas from another puppy. 7.You can put a puppy on a leash and snap it back if it tries to sniff other puppies. 8.Your puppy will never leave you for your roommate, best friend, or someone with bigger breasts/more money/better looks/a better body/etc. 9.Puppies urinating in the front lawn is normal. 10.Puppies dont bite the hand that feeds them. 11.Puppies are easier to train to do simple tasks. 12.A puppy never conspires with other puppies to play with your mind.13.Puppies never leave en masse to check out puppies in the other room. 14.A puppy wont give you a lot of backtalk for no apparent reason. 15.You can train your puppy to do tricks–like play dead all day. 16.If you have a neighbor you dont like, you wont be as embarassed if your PUPPY poops all over his lawn. 17.Puppies dont even pretend to know how to fix whatever they break.18.Puppies wont get jealous of all of your male friends. 19.Neutering your boyfriend, as practical as it may seem, is harder to justify. 20.A PUPPYs face in the toilet bowl is less alarming. 21.Puppies dont leave the toilet seat up. 22.Puppies dont have to show other puppies that its the puppy of its house. 23.Puppies attract men; boyfriends drive them away. 24.Puppies dont do dishes, but at least they attempt to lick their own plate clean. 25.Puppies wont ask Why dont you look like THAT? when watching TV. 26.Puppies actually look attractive with a full body of hair. 27.Puppies dont mind staying home with the kids. 28.Because puppies cant read m